I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
