Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Randomize
