Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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