you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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