I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
