I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
