I heard we made out
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dear god my vagina.
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