Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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