I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
