This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
