plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
