I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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