we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
