Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I currently don't understand fingers.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
