I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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