I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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