It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
