ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize