people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
