none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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