bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
this boner is exhausting
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
