this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
