Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
