yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
