What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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