i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
