You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize