you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
