you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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