8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
