I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
