this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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