I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
