I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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