Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
