Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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