Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
