Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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