I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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