So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize