Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
