I wanna bring you to show and tell
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's blow job season.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
