so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize