I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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