The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
