I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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