Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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