Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
