bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
