i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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