quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
