Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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