No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
