i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
