She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
