Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
