i just google imaged poop.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
