It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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