I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Everclear isn't food dammit
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize