just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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