Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
