Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What a fucking waste of an outfit
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
