I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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