i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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