Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
