More tranny stories later!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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