if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize