I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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