There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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